The Search is Over.....

Just when I was getting used to the tai-tai life, I will be returning to the rushing CBD crowd next month. I'm grateful to God for this short (2-month) break as well as the challenges that lie ahead of me! By faith, I quit my previous job as a Regulatory and Compliance Consultant without any new job in sight.

I recall that sometime in February this year, during my lunchtime quiet time at St. Andrew's Cathedral where I prayed for a career change, God spoke to me (through a nearby stranger), and said "Is anything to hard for the Lord?". That gave me courage and faith that God has heard my prayers, and He will bless me.

A few times during the past 2 months when calls from headhunters for interviews were not forthcoming, I got a little anxious. But all the time I believed God has a plan for me, and I just prayed and remained patient.

The job offer finally came - and it is a compliance advisory role (as opposed to AML, or compliance monitoring, transaction surveillance etc.) in a bank, which I had prayed for. The strange thing is that I thought I did not perform well during the first interview. The interviewer asked me a test question and I thought I did not structure my response properly, and I myself was not satisfied with the answer. But after that interview, I had a good feeling, and the thought came to my mind that "whether I get the job is not about how well I did during the interview, but whether God chose that position for me". And true enough, this bank made the offer, and I got a reasonably well pay increment too. 

My heart is filled with gratitude for and confidence in my God, who answers prayers. In Matthew
7:9, Jesus asked "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?!". In my case, I asked for bread, and was given a nicely decorated cake! I hope this post will be a reminder to myself and everyone else of God's faithfulness and goodness. All we have to do is to pray, believe, and wait for the favour to fall on us!

Chloe Turns Three!

Happy 3rd Birthday, Chloe!

I think 3rd birthday is a very big deal. I doubt very much Chloe has memory of her 1st and 2nd birthday. That was why we did not throw parties for her when she turned one and two. In recent months, Chloe became very conscious of her age, as we kept teaching her to say: "I'm coming to three years old!" For a period of time, she only managed "I become-the-three-years-old!", which was so funny!

Last year, I took her out of childcare on her birthday, brought her to the zoo and had a family celebration at home. Seeing how she loved attending birthday parties of her classmates at her childcare centre, we decided to throw a party this year. I'm sure by this age, the memory of her own party will be etched in her mind. The theme will be her fav BARNEY!

We ordered 2 birthday cakes for her - one for school and one for home. As Barney is a licensed character, the confectioner required us to provide the Barney and friends cake-toppers, while they provide other peripheral decorations. 

I launched into an online search for Barney cake-toppers, and to my horror, they were not readily available! I searched recommended birthday party sites, local and international, eBay, Amazon - you name it. While there are plenty of Disney Princess, Dora, Toy Story, Minnie Mouse, I could not find the purple dinosaur! I panicked big time because we promised Chloe a Barney cake, so it should not end up looking like Winnie the Pooh. Eventually I found a home baker who made Barney, BJ and Baby Bop with fondants, and I called her up and begged her to make them for me. This was the end-result... aren't they cute?!

Next comes the party favours. Again, Barney stuff are not available at shops. I had to purchase them online and travelled great distances (I mean, I took the bus to Sims Ave) to self-collect the items. We're all set for the party with Barney paper plates, tablecover, birthday treat bags, stationery set....

And finally.... here are the cakes!

The birthday cake for school.....

The birthday cake for home.....

We recycled the Barney cake toppers for both cakes. This was the first time I bought 3D cakes, and they are really lovely. I was such a joy to see Chloe's face light up with pleasant surprise when she saw the cakes! Anything for you, my darling Chloe!!!

My Emergenetics Profile

I am finally about to have an answer to my 'career inclinations'. I had commented on Facebook before that half of my friends think I will do well as a Relationship Manager (RM), and the other half think I make a good Regulatory Compliance person. These two career paths are almost divergent in nature, in my opinion! Their views about me are so strong I am sometimes confused about what I really am like.

Recently, my aunt, who is a qualified Emergenetics Profile coach, spoke to me about Emergenetics, and I requested for a profiling to be done. The last personality profiling I did the DISC (Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, Conscientious) profile some 10 years ago. My profile then showed me as a super high "I" person [ = influence others through talking, are enthusiastic, persuasive, warm, trusting etc.], and that probably explained why my friends think I will excel as RM? Anyway, in short, Emergenetics is a combination of a person's characteristics that emerge from life experiences plus the genetics with which he is born with. It profiles his thinking attributes and behavioral attributes. Although my friends keep saying I should consider a career change to be a RM, deep inside me, I feel it's not me. Finally I can vindicate my feelings!

The moment of truth......tada!!

I knew I'm not all a social animal! Ok, there's lots more to the interpretation of the profile, but in general, it shows I have a preference for structural and analytical thinking (heh heh, my friends out there who think otherwise, does this make you flip??).

Reflecting on my profile, I am quite sure my 5 years as a banking regulator/supervisor had moulded me into a structural thinker (c'mon, 5 years of training to draft proposals in rigid format and lingo would surely do some damage to creativity?), and my last job as a regulatory consultant should have brushed up my analytical thinking. I can't agree more with this profile. And whatever happened to the high "I" person years ago?!

There is another portion on the profile of my behavioral preference which I'm not sharing here. I don't quite agree with that, because it shows I'm not a very expressive person (??). This does not gel with my family members' and even my bosses' views, who think I can't keep my emotions to myself and my face is an open book to my heart and mind. 

Anyway, am glad I completed the Emergenetics profiling exercise. Now I can choose Compliance as a career with greater confidence. I am always comfortable working with laws and rules, and I like to think through issues and find substantiation (almost in a kia-si fashion) before proposing a solution. I apologise to my friends out there who have millions of dollars waiting to entrust to me when I become your Personal Relationship Manager. 

Moving On.....

I wanted to pen this entry some months ago when I first broached the idea of quitting my job, but was just too busy to get to it. Before I know it, I've come to the end of my notice-period and here I am, with all the free time on my hands to blog!

Nine months on the job and I still couldn't quite lay a finger on my feelings about it. It's almost like a dream. It took me a few weeks to settle in and embrace all about the new job. There was of course the initial euphoria of the new environment, the sense of progressiveness being in the private sector, and the exciting and enlarged role in a leadership position. Unfortunately, it doesn't work out for me. I can only say I'm not cut-out to be a entrepreneur, and lack the capacity to manage the practice like it was my own. I could not find much enjoyment managing client relationships, delivering the work, being mindful of revenue and recovery budgets, working through the billing and tonnes of paperwork. I finally understood that I prefer to just focus on the "work" part. So I made the almost impulsive decision (again?!) to serve notice, without giving much thoughts.

I do miss my colleagues. First of all, my boss is such an understanding and reasonable person it was such a joy work for and with him. He made me laugh all the time (and vice versa) and was more like a friend to me. My immediate peers were my ex-colleagues - superb teamwork there. The more junior staff are ALL such cooperative, cohesive, obedient, intelligent, hardworking and fun people it's hard to believe such workers exist in this present time!!

On my last day last Friday, my staff surprised me with a farewell party when I was only expecting a goodbye-card giving ceremony. They threw in a larger than life card with touching messages, 2 awfully chocolate cakes, gift vouchers (they heard I'm a shopaholic) and video-d my 'farewell speech'. 

Instead of "Goodbye Janet", the cakes said "Thank You Janet". I suppose I did do something good during my tenure there.

Someone even handmade cookies for me! Aw, how sweet!!!

Thank you my dears, for making my 9 months there so memorable. We promised to meet up for lunch and catch up occasionally. Till then, take care!!

General Elections 2011!

I have never voted in my life nor am interested in politics. I was quietly contented with my life, what I have and what I have not. I grew up as an obedient child, listening to parents, teachers, and never challenging the status quo. And this is the kind of Singapore citizen I have become. I must admit that I had not attempted to be involved in national issues or society matters, or even pay much attention to them because I felt they are just “other people’s problems”, and there’s nothing much I could do about them.  To me, I earn my own keep, I strive for my own material possessions, and manage my own emotions.

This election is an eye-opener for me, and it’s also the first time in my life I got to cast my vote. It started with some colleagues prompting me to “vote wisely”, and along the way opened my mind about some national-interest issues that could have been better managed if the rule-makers had more rigorous debates on. The slogan of a “first world parliament” stuck. I start to ask myself if I do like expensive public housing, more ERP charges, inflation, forced A-class treatments at government hospitals, crowded MRTs, letting foreigners take our places at schools while our own Singapore kids have to study abroad etc., and realised that I had all along been quietly accepting all these policies without questioning.

I have not spent time thinking about whether I would do things differently if I were a policy maker, and thus daren’t criticize much here. But having worked in a government organisation before, I can understand what “group think” is. In a Parliament where people wear the same colour, it takes a lot to stand up and speak a different tune. Which is why I think having opposition MPs to inject some checks-and-balances is important.

I am happy that Worker’s Party has won over my constituency. Although there are hate-messages on the internet blaming Aljunied residents for Mr George Yeo’s plight, I think this is not what voters want too. If PAP won the constituency, it would mean the whole Parliament would be left with just one tiny opposition voice of Mr Yaw Shin Leong. That wouldn’t do well for checks and balances! It’s not that people don’t like George Yeo, it’s just that people need Worker’s Party in Parliament. Sadly, Mr George Yeo, whom I certainly like, has to be the political victim. I really wish him all the best. Towards a first world parliament!!

Happy Mothers' Day!

I received my first Mothers' Day gift from Chloe on Friday. She brought this hand-painting back from school.....

Understandably, kids at this age (she'll be turning 3 only in July 2011) cannot spell or write. The childcare teacher cleverly painted stalks and leaves, and the kids make their palm prints to create tulips. The flowers were finished with gold glitter-glue - simply brilliant!

I used to see crude paintings or drawings displayed at my colleague's offices and cubicles. In the past, I would think these childish art looked kinda raw and messy. Now I totally understand these art pieces, in the eyes of the parents, are more precious that Picasso or Monet. I beam with happiness to see Chloe's first "painting" for me. Obviously I'm going to have this framed up too.

Thank you Chloe darling - it's beautiful!

Heavy Construction Headache!

One of the things I love about my house is that we enjoy substantially unblocked view from the back of my house. There are 2 huge semi-detached houses there. One of them had been vacant since years ago, and the other one immediately adjacent to my house is owned by the boss of a local travel agency. The house has a lovely garden with beautiful bougainvilleas and luscious bamboo trees tended by 2 maids and a regular gardener. They have a big dog which provides "free security services" to us in a way.

The nice big houses which will be no more.....

 

Just before CNY, I learnt from my neighbour that the semi-D has been sold to developers for close to S$7m. To my horror, the plot of land occupied by the two huge houses will be redeveloped into a dozen semi-Ds with a lap pool. I am so sad to learn of this development! Next time, from the back of my house, I shall be overlooking into someone's smelly kitchen and likely, my wonderful morning sun and crispy laundry may be gone!

Such is the risk of staying in landed properties. With the market this hot, houses are being sold, pulled down and redeveloped like mushroom plantations. Now I can only pray that I will have the patience and good health to endure the noise and dust from the construction - right behind my house. The thought of the inconveniences, such as having to sun our laundry at my car porch, shutting my kitchen door and windows all the time, and the fear of construction workers breaching my walls start to give me headaches already. Oh God, please help me though this period!!!

Chloe at The Little Gym

Chloe is a very active little girl, almost un-ladylike. In an attempt to inspire gracefulness in her daily movements, we decided to try her out for ballet classes. My sis and I therefore signed Chloe and my niece Jewelyn up for a term at the Music and Ballet Company at NEX Mall.

I remember asking Chloe if she was sure she would like to learn ballet. She said yes, all because in one of her Barney shows, Baby-Bop was galloping in a tu-tu in a dance studio. For days I prepped her for the class, telling her that mummy can't go into the studio with her (she still experiences separation-anxiety), but she will be with che-che Jewelyn during the lesson.

On the day of her first lesson, she refused to enter the studio alone and clinged on to my hubby and myself, wailing as if we were selling away to her ballet teacher. We skipped the first lesson. More 'motivational talks' for another week, and still, it was the same heart-wrenching scene the following week. We finally gave up coaxing, as she declared "I don't want to go ballet class anymore....". Total money wasted: S$200 non-refundable term fees and S$100 beautiful worn-only-2-times ballet outfit complete with shoes.

The reluctant ballerina. See how miserable her face was.....

I wanted Chloe to do something fun during her weekends. I thought gym classes may be good to offer her an outlet for her tremendous amount of energy, where she can climb, jump, roll and run in a safe environment (well, if she ain't ladylike, can't force her right?!). Since a baby, she has demonstrated strength in her arms (we caught her hanging at the side of her colt, and now hanging from the bars of our garden swing seems to be her favorite activity), so I would like to give her an opportunity to discover her potential.

We started classes at The Little Gym at Marina Square in March, which offers classes where the kid can be accompanied by parents. Although Chloe was initially shy infront of strangers (i.e. the other children and their parents), she is beginning to show more ease over time.  She enjoys her classes and was game to try the new stunts most of the time. I hope the gym class will help her overcome her insecurity about unfamiliar environment/people and be more confident of her own abilities. Of course if she does develop this sport into a lifetime hobby, I will be sure to support her all the way!

Happy during class. (That's teacher Richie in the background.)

Balancing on the beam with mymmy....

Train the arms....

Try the double bar!

The compulsory Barney rides before and after gym class.....

Grandma (1920 - 2011)

I’d never been very close to my Grandma, and had never communicated with her at a personal level. During my childhood days, my Grandma, who had 8 children, would visit them on a ‘rotational’ basis. I recall she always carried a hard-case luggage containing her ‘wares’ whenever she visited. She would plonk herself onto our living room floor, open her luggage, and take out interesting knick-knacks, like food stuff, fruits, medicine that she bought for us, bank passbooks etc.

The funniest thing I remember about her is that she would show us a handful of bank passbooks and talk to my mom about where she deposited her money: “put $x in POSB Telok Blangah branch, put $y in POSB Toa Payoh branch....”. She was not educated so I don’t blame her. While I understood her intention to avoid concentration risk (whoa, she did know how not to put all her eggs in one basket), she probably failed to realise all these branches belong to the same bank! HAHAH.... Of course if we had the Deposit Insurance Scheme then, all her concerns would be alleviated.

My Grandma was also quite kind. Whenever she saved enough, she would buy little gold jewellery for her grandchildren. I had received from her a gold chain, a low-grade diamond pendant, a ring, a 1g-gold pendant (that was oh-so-fashionable those days), and a pair of little jade dangling earrings. I don’t know where these things are now! 

My Grandma passed away on 3 Jan 2010. We “lost touch” during our teenage, and certainly adult years, when my mom went to work and Grandma stopped visiting. To cut the time short, in 2006, Grandma miraculously accepted Christ as her saviour, and she got baptized! Praise the Lord! By then she was 86 years old. Of the few times I attended the Hokkien service at church with her, I was really happy to see her basking in the joy of God, raising her hands up in worship and clapping along happily like a little kid.

Today, I know every well she’s in the arms of Jesus. She had a peaceful wake and funeral, Christian style. I fought back tears during the moment of cremation as I felt I needed to demonstrate to my non-Christian cousins the understanding that when Christians die, we’re just “sleeping” and we’ll all be united in heaven one day. I attended the Hokkien service last Saturday evening, this time without Grandma in the same pew. I just realised that I do miss her somehow. Rest in peace, Grandma!