The Search is Over.....

Just when I was getting used to the tai-tai life, I will be returning to the rushing CBD crowd next month. I'm grateful to God for this short (2-month) break as well as the challenges that lie ahead of me! By faith, I quit my previous job as a Regulatory and Compliance Consultant without any new job in sight.

I recall that sometime in February this year, during my lunchtime quiet time at St. Andrew's Cathedral where I prayed for a career change, God spoke to me (through a nearby stranger), and said "Is anything to hard for the Lord?". That gave me courage and faith that God has heard my prayers, and He will bless me.

A few times during the past 2 months when calls from headhunters for interviews were not forthcoming, I got a little anxious. But all the time I believed God has a plan for me, and I just prayed and remained patient.

The job offer finally came - and it is a compliance advisory role (as opposed to AML, or compliance monitoring, transaction surveillance etc.) in a bank, which I had prayed for. The strange thing is that I thought I did not perform well during the first interview. The interviewer asked me a test question and I thought I did not structure my response properly, and I myself was not satisfied with the answer. But after that interview, I had a good feeling, and the thought came to my mind that "whether I get the job is not about how well I did during the interview, but whether God chose that position for me". And true enough, this bank made the offer, and I got a reasonably well pay increment too. 

My heart is filled with gratitude for and confidence in my God, who answers prayers. In Matthew
7:9, Jesus asked "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?!". In my case, I asked for bread, and was given a nicely decorated cake! I hope this post will be a reminder to myself and everyone else of God's faithfulness and goodness. All we have to do is to pray, believe, and wait for the favour to fall on us!

Chloe Turns Three!

Happy 3rd Birthday, Chloe!

I think 3rd birthday is a very big deal. I doubt very much Chloe has memory of her 1st and 2nd birthday. That was why we did not throw parties for her when she turned one and two. In recent months, Chloe became very conscious of her age, as we kept teaching her to say: "I'm coming to three years old!" For a period of time, she only managed "I become-the-three-years-old!", which was so funny!

Last year, I took her out of childcare on her birthday, brought her to the zoo and had a family celebration at home. Seeing how she loved attending birthday parties of her classmates at her childcare centre, we decided to throw a party this year. I'm sure by this age, the memory of her own party will be etched in her mind. The theme will be her fav BARNEY!

We ordered 2 birthday cakes for her - one for school and one for home. As Barney is a licensed character, the confectioner required us to provide the Barney and friends cake-toppers, while they provide other peripheral decorations. 

I launched into an online search for Barney cake-toppers, and to my horror, they were not readily available! I searched recommended birthday party sites, local and international, eBay, Amazon - you name it. While there are plenty of Disney Princess, Dora, Toy Story, Minnie Mouse, I could not find the purple dinosaur! I panicked big time because we promised Chloe a Barney cake, so it should not end up looking like Winnie the Pooh. Eventually I found a home baker who made Barney, BJ and Baby Bop with fondants, and I called her up and begged her to make them for me. This was the end-result... aren't they cute?!

Next comes the party favours. Again, Barney stuff are not available at shops. I had to purchase them online and travelled great distances (I mean, I took the bus to Sims Ave) to self-collect the items. We're all set for the party with Barney paper plates, tablecover, birthday treat bags, stationery set....

And finally.... here are the cakes!

The birthday cake for school.....

The birthday cake for home.....

We recycled the Barney cake toppers for both cakes. This was the first time I bought 3D cakes, and they are really lovely. I was such a joy to see Chloe's face light up with pleasant surprise when she saw the cakes! Anything for you, my darling Chloe!!!

My Emergenetics Profile

I am finally about to have an answer to my 'career inclinations'. I had commented on Facebook before that half of my friends think I will do well as a Relationship Manager (RM), and the other half think I make a good Regulatory Compliance person. These two career paths are almost divergent in nature, in my opinion! Their views about me are so strong I am sometimes confused about what I really am like.

Recently, my aunt, who is a qualified Emergenetics Profile coach, spoke to me about Emergenetics, and I requested for a profiling to be done. The last personality profiling I did the DISC (Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, Conscientious) profile some 10 years ago. My profile then showed me as a super high "I" person [ = influence others through talking, are enthusiastic, persuasive, warm, trusting etc.], and that probably explained why my friends think I will excel as RM? Anyway, in short, Emergenetics is a combination of a person's characteristics that emerge from life experiences plus the genetics with which he is born with. It profiles his thinking attributes and behavioral attributes. Although my friends keep saying I should consider a career change to be a RM, deep inside me, I feel it's not me. Finally I can vindicate my feelings!

The moment of truth......tada!!

I knew I'm not all a social animal! Ok, there's lots more to the interpretation of the profile, but in general, it shows I have a preference for structural and analytical thinking (heh heh, my friends out there who think otherwise, does this make you flip??).

Reflecting on my profile, I am quite sure my 5 years as a banking regulator/supervisor had moulded me into a structural thinker (c'mon, 5 years of training to draft proposals in rigid format and lingo would surely do some damage to creativity?), and my last job as a regulatory consultant should have brushed up my analytical thinking. I can't agree more with this profile. And whatever happened to the high "I" person years ago?!

There is another portion on the profile of my behavioral preference which I'm not sharing here. I don't quite agree with that, because it shows I'm not a very expressive person (??). This does not gel with my family members' and even my bosses' views, who think I can't keep my emotions to myself and my face is an open book to my heart and mind. 

Anyway, am glad I completed the Emergenetics profiling exercise. Now I can choose Compliance as a career with greater confidence. I am always comfortable working with laws and rules, and I like to think through issues and find substantiation (almost in a kia-si fashion) before proposing a solution. I apologise to my friends out there who have millions of dollars waiting to entrust to me when I become your Personal Relationship Manager. 

Moving On.....

I wanted to pen this entry some months ago when I first broached the idea of quitting my job, but was just too busy to get to it. Before I know it, I've come to the end of my notice-period and here I am, with all the free time on my hands to blog!

Nine months on the job and I still couldn't quite lay a finger on my feelings about it. It's almost like a dream. It took me a few weeks to settle in and embrace all about the new job. There was of course the initial euphoria of the new environment, the sense of progressiveness being in the private sector, and the exciting and enlarged role in a leadership position. Unfortunately, it doesn't work out for me. I can only say I'm not cut-out to be a entrepreneur, and lack the capacity to manage the practice like it was my own. I could not find much enjoyment managing client relationships, delivering the work, being mindful of revenue and recovery budgets, working through the billing and tonnes of paperwork. I finally understood that I prefer to just focus on the "work" part. So I made the almost impulsive decision (again?!) to serve notice, without giving much thoughts.

I do miss my colleagues. First of all, my boss is such an understanding and reasonable person it was such a joy work for and with him. He made me laugh all the time (and vice versa) and was more like a friend to me. My immediate peers were my ex-colleagues - superb teamwork there. The more junior staff are ALL such cooperative, cohesive, obedient, intelligent, hardworking and fun people it's hard to believe such workers exist in this present time!!

On my last day last Friday, my staff surprised me with a farewell party when I was only expecting a goodbye-card giving ceremony. They threw in a larger than life card with touching messages, 2 awfully chocolate cakes, gift vouchers (they heard I'm a shopaholic) and video-d my 'farewell speech'. 

Instead of "Goodbye Janet", the cakes said "Thank You Janet". I suppose I did do something good during my tenure there.

Someone even handmade cookies for me! Aw, how sweet!!!

Thank you my dears, for making my 9 months there so memorable. We promised to meet up for lunch and catch up occasionally. Till then, take care!!

General Elections 2011!

I have never voted in my life nor am interested in politics. I was quietly contented with my life, what I have and what I have not. I grew up as an obedient child, listening to parents, teachers, and never challenging the status quo. And this is the kind of Singapore citizen I have become. I must admit that I had not attempted to be involved in national issues or society matters, or even pay much attention to them because I felt they are just “other people’s problems”, and there’s nothing much I could do about them.  To me, I earn my own keep, I strive for my own material possessions, and manage my own emotions.

This election is an eye-opener for me, and it’s also the first time in my life I got to cast my vote. It started with some colleagues prompting me to “vote wisely”, and along the way opened my mind about some national-interest issues that could have been better managed if the rule-makers had more rigorous debates on. The slogan of a “first world parliament” stuck. I start to ask myself if I do like expensive public housing, more ERP charges, inflation, forced A-class treatments at government hospitals, crowded MRTs, letting foreigners take our places at schools while our own Singapore kids have to study abroad etc., and realised that I had all along been quietly accepting all these policies without questioning.

I have not spent time thinking about whether I would do things differently if I were a policy maker, and thus daren’t criticize much here. But having worked in a government organisation before, I can understand what “group think” is. In a Parliament where people wear the same colour, it takes a lot to stand up and speak a different tune. Which is why I think having opposition MPs to inject some checks-and-balances is important.

I am happy that Worker’s Party has won over my constituency. Although there are hate-messages on the internet blaming Aljunied residents for Mr George Yeo’s plight, I think this is not what voters want too. If PAP won the constituency, it would mean the whole Parliament would be left with just one tiny opposition voice of Mr Yaw Shin Leong. That wouldn’t do well for checks and balances! It’s not that people don’t like George Yeo, it’s just that people need Worker’s Party in Parliament. Sadly, Mr George Yeo, whom I certainly like, has to be the political victim. I really wish him all the best. Towards a first world parliament!!

Happy Mothers' Day!

I received my first Mothers' Day gift from Chloe on Friday. She brought this hand-painting back from school.....

Understandably, kids at this age (she'll be turning 3 only in July 2011) cannot spell or write. The childcare teacher cleverly painted stalks and leaves, and the kids make their palm prints to create tulips. The flowers were finished with gold glitter-glue - simply brilliant!

I used to see crude paintings or drawings displayed at my colleague's offices and cubicles. In the past, I would think these childish art looked kinda raw and messy. Now I totally understand these art pieces, in the eyes of the parents, are more precious that Picasso or Monet. I beam with happiness to see Chloe's first "painting" for me. Obviously I'm going to have this framed up too.

Thank you Chloe darling - it's beautiful!

Heavy Construction Headache!

One of the things I love about my house is that we enjoy substantially unblocked view from the back of my house. There are 2 huge semi-detached houses there. One of them had been vacant since years ago, and the other one immediately adjacent to my house is owned by the boss of a local travel agency. The house has a lovely garden with beautiful bougainvilleas and luscious bamboo trees tended by 2 maids and a regular gardener. They have a big dog which provides "free security services" to us in a way.

The nice big houses which will be no more.....

 

Just before CNY, I learnt from my neighbour that the semi-D has been sold to developers for close to S$7m. To my horror, the plot of land occupied by the two huge houses will be redeveloped into a dozen semi-Ds with a lap pool. I am so sad to learn of this development! Next time, from the back of my house, I shall be overlooking into someone's smelly kitchen and likely, my wonderful morning sun and crispy laundry may be gone!

Such is the risk of staying in landed properties. With the market this hot, houses are being sold, pulled down and redeveloped like mushroom plantations. Now I can only pray that I will have the patience and good health to endure the noise and dust from the construction - right behind my house. The thought of the inconveniences, such as having to sun our laundry at my car porch, shutting my kitchen door and windows all the time, and the fear of construction workers breaching my walls start to give me headaches already. Oh God, please help me though this period!!!

Chloe at The Little Gym

Chloe is a very active little girl, almost un-ladylike. In an attempt to inspire gracefulness in her daily movements, we decided to try her out for ballet classes. My sis and I therefore signed Chloe and my niece Jewelyn up for a term at the Music and Ballet Company at NEX Mall.

I remember asking Chloe if she was sure she would like to learn ballet. She said yes, all because in one of her Barney shows, Baby-Bop was galloping in a tu-tu in a dance studio. For days I prepped her for the class, telling her that mummy can't go into the studio with her (she still experiences separation-anxiety), but she will be with che-che Jewelyn during the lesson.

On the day of her first lesson, she refused to enter the studio alone and clinged on to my hubby and myself, wailing as if we were selling away to her ballet teacher. We skipped the first lesson. More 'motivational talks' for another week, and still, it was the same heart-wrenching scene the following week. We finally gave up coaxing, as she declared "I don't want to go ballet class anymore....". Total money wasted: S$200 non-refundable term fees and S$100 beautiful worn-only-2-times ballet outfit complete with shoes.

The reluctant ballerina. See how miserable her face was.....

I wanted Chloe to do something fun during her weekends. I thought gym classes may be good to offer her an outlet for her tremendous amount of energy, where she can climb, jump, roll and run in a safe environment (well, if she ain't ladylike, can't force her right?!). Since a baby, she has demonstrated strength in her arms (we caught her hanging at the side of her colt, and now hanging from the bars of our garden swing seems to be her favorite activity), so I would like to give her an opportunity to discover her potential.

We started classes at The Little Gym at Marina Square in March, which offers classes where the kid can be accompanied by parents. Although Chloe was initially shy infront of strangers (i.e. the other children and their parents), she is beginning to show more ease over time.  She enjoys her classes and was game to try the new stunts most of the time. I hope the gym class will help her overcome her insecurity about unfamiliar environment/people and be more confident of her own abilities. Of course if she does develop this sport into a lifetime hobby, I will be sure to support her all the way!

Happy during class. (That's teacher Richie in the background.)

Balancing on the beam with mymmy....

Train the arms....

Try the double bar!

The compulsory Barney rides before and after gym class.....

Grandma (1920 - 2011)

I’d never been very close to my Grandma, and had never communicated with her at a personal level. During my childhood days, my Grandma, who had 8 children, would visit them on a ‘rotational’ basis. I recall she always carried a hard-case luggage containing her ‘wares’ whenever she visited. She would plonk herself onto our living room floor, open her luggage, and take out interesting knick-knacks, like food stuff, fruits, medicine that she bought for us, bank passbooks etc.

The funniest thing I remember about her is that she would show us a handful of bank passbooks and talk to my mom about where she deposited her money: “put $x in POSB Telok Blangah branch, put $y in POSB Toa Payoh branch....”. She was not educated so I don’t blame her. While I understood her intention to avoid concentration risk (whoa, she did know how not to put all her eggs in one basket), she probably failed to realise all these branches belong to the same bank! HAHAH.... Of course if we had the Deposit Insurance Scheme then, all her concerns would be alleviated.

My Grandma was also quite kind. Whenever she saved enough, she would buy little gold jewellery for her grandchildren. I had received from her a gold chain, a low-grade diamond pendant, a ring, a 1g-gold pendant (that was oh-so-fashionable those days), and a pair of little jade dangling earrings. I don’t know where these things are now! 

My Grandma passed away on 3 Jan 2010. We “lost touch” during our teenage, and certainly adult years, when my mom went to work and Grandma stopped visiting. To cut the time short, in 2006, Grandma miraculously accepted Christ as her saviour, and she got baptized! Praise the Lord! By then she was 86 years old. Of the few times I attended the Hokkien service at church with her, I was really happy to see her basking in the joy of God, raising her hands up in worship and clapping along happily like a little kid.

Today, I know every well she’s in the arms of Jesus. She had a peaceful wake and funeral, Christian style. I fought back tears during the moment of cremation as I felt I needed to demonstrate to my non-Christian cousins the understanding that when Christians die, we’re just “sleeping” and we’ll all be united in heaven one day. I attended the Hokkien service last Saturday evening, this time without Grandma in the same pew. I just realised that I do miss her somehow. Rest in peace, Grandma!

Home Improvement - the Garden Story

Once upon a time, we had a littlle garden....

It was not big but it provided a little greenery for the house. My hubby and Dad love to do little chores in the garden, like trim the branches or water the plants. Myself? Not a garden person - so I think I stepped in there less than 10 times in 2 years.

Due to the scorching sun a couple of months back and occasional heavy rain, the grass in my garden started dying and showing bald patches. Becoming a lttle unsightly. And my dear neighbour's old casuarina tree keeps "raining" dried needles into my garden. It's backbreaking for everyone to bend down and pick them every single day. It's even more horrifying to wake up after a thunderstorm night to see my whole garden covered with brown casuarina needle leaves!

This is the irritating tree that's creating the mess in my garden (*fedup*).....

Well since we can't get rid of the tree, we decided to get rid of the garden by tiling over it. This would make it easier to sweep off rubbish, dried tree leaves etc.. So we called in the professionals to dig up my garden. Look, no more grass! 

A huge concrete mixer came and poured cement over it. The process from clearing grass, to digging to eliminate roots, flattening the garden and casting the cement took over a week.

While my family sort of misses the little garden, we were hopeful for a cleaner look and bigger space. We also did wooden decking for the whole stretch outside the house, so that we can create a little sitting area. After much anticipation, the work was done! Tada!

We painted the wall a bright and cheery yellow. Now have a cozy corner where the family loves to have coffee after dinner. 

The porch area is big enough now to accomodate 2 big cars. Chloe is happy too as she can race around in her skate skooter and play with her bubble-gun. The whole family is happy again and no one is frowning upon that tree anymore.

We did our balcony too!

The End.

Jewelyn and Chloe

All thanks to being sick at home, I have the chance to review some recently taken photos. Came across these and think they are too cute to remain "in the camera".

No, they are not sisters although both happen to have the cutest, littlest eyes!

Chloe and Jewelyn love to hug each other, and it's so heartwarming to see them do that. It's funny though that their characters are quite worlds apart - Jewelyn is a sensible, mild and obedient girl who can sit still on the sofa to watch DVD or listen to adults chit-chat for a long time. Chloe is however, loud, noisy, active and mischievious, and has difficulty staying in one position for more than 3 minutes (unless sleeping). I hope both girls will grow up to be best friends, and close like blood-sisters, just like my sis and I....

[Tomorrow, Jewelyn will turn 3. Happy Birthday Jo, enjoy your holiday in Shanghai!]

 

God is Good!

I haven’t updated my blog for a more than a month! Life has moved too fast for me to catch a breath and pen my thoughts. At the back of my mind I know I owe this thanksgiving piece, to express that God is Good!

By faith I made a move out of my old comfy workplace. I prayed for God to lead me where He thinks would be good for me. Very easily I was accepted into this new organisation. What was amusing was that at the interview, the interviewer was the one making the justifications why and how my work experience would be valuable to the new organisation, instead of the other way round. That, I attribute to the favour of God.

My colleagues are really nice. I was even more delighted to learn that my boss and his boss are both Christians, so are the majority of my immediate teammates! I don’t mean to be overly religious here, but working amongst like-minded people gives us a sense of common purpose, mutual understanding and encouragement. I can trust that I am watched over by God together with His people.

Work is tough though – not only do I have to brush up on my banking regulatory knowledge, I need to learn how to manage relationships with my clients and the staff under me, manage my own time and the department’s resources, provide guidance to my juniors, conduct job interviews and deal with tonnes of administrative procedures. These are things I needn’t have to bother with in my old job! There are days I need to bring work home to do, after putting Chloe to sleep. Although I miss those pockets of slack-time in the past, I welcome the challenges and the stretching of my abilities.

Every day I pray for God’s wisdom to do my job. One month into the job, I am not on top of all things yet, but I know with God, I can manage better as I go along.

The Oldest Things Around the House

I love to spring clean. Throwing things away has a very therapeutic effect on me as I hate clutter. That explains why I only have a handful of old things with sentimental value in my house. Some people I know keep their university lecture notes, secondary school textbooks or erasers they used during primary school. When my hubby and I shared a home after we got married years ago, I made him throw away a fair bit of those things. Heh heh....

Since I am so free this week, I decided to seek out some of the oldest things we have around the house (partly also to show off my photography skills). Here are the 7 things I found:

1.  Chairman Mao Watch

We bought this during our first trip to Beijing in 1995, at some street market. Can't remember how much we paid, should be under S$20. In all Chinese regalia, Chairman Mao stands against the communist-red backdrop with his back straight and waving at you, albeit mechanically. The hands of the watch even glow in the dark. I used to think it was very ching-chiong, and so this watch remained chucked in some dark corners in my souvenir box. Recently, such quirky stuff seem to be in vogue. Not sure if one can still find this on sale anywhere in the world. Maybe I should have the strap changed into a nice leather one and start wearing it. It'll make an interesting conversation piece. Who knows, perhaps a China-fanatic may offer to buy it from me for S$1,000???!!! Any bidders?

2.  Folded Paper Stars

This again has to be 1995 - the year my hubby and I started dating. It was one of the first presents I gave him. Those days, giving paper stars as good wishes or love pressies was very fashionable. My hubby, being a much more sentimental person, has been keeping this on display. Seeing that the colour of the stars has faded somewhat, I recall now he used to displayed in on the dashboard of his first car!

3.  Movie Tickets

My hubby (again, the sentimental one), keeps a glass jar containing all the tickets of movies we'd watched together. Can see we were avid Golden Village supporters. I raked through the tickets and found that the oldest movie ticket was dated December 1995, "Santa Clause". Whatever the movie was about - was that the Tim Allen one?

4.  Coke Bottle

This is such a classic, it's one of those last coca-cola that you get in glass bottles. My hubby kept it since his teenage years, and when the wife threatened to throw it away as the contents inside looked like it could explode, he emptied the contents and used it to keep one cent coins instead.  I wonder if I could make a fortune out of these out-of-circulation coins if I were to keep them for 300 years.

5.  Wooden Vase

This wooden vase, no taller than 5-inches, is made from Black Boy tree found in Australia. This souvenir was a gift from an ex-colleague, Samantha, whom I met at DBS Finance, where I worked at after graduating from poly in 1993. Hey Sam, do you remember me although we've not kept in touch? I've been keeping your present all these years!

6.  Kitten Coin Bank

This glace-porcelain Kitten coin bank was from my mom and it dates back to early 1980s, when I was in primary school.  I didn't save a fortune with it though, as I recall digging out coins from the opening below the Kitten every few days to buy sng-beoy (preserved plums) and chocolates from the mama shop downstairs. The Kitten has a flaw - it has got a pimple between its eyes - and that's what makes it special to me. Years later, I let my hubby use it to keep spare change when he emptied his pants pocket everyday.

7.  Cockeral Coin Bank

This one is the champion!!! It belongs to my hubby and dates back to probably 1970s when he was a little boy. It's made of rough clay and the chicken is almost deformed. What made it classic is that besides the slit which you slot your coins through, it does not have a opening below for you to take the coins out. Coin banks in the old old days are made like that! To take out the coins, one usually got to literally 'break the bank', or you can spend hours using a pincer to pull the coins out one by one! And guess what, I think it's filled with lots of fish-series coins inside. I'll never know for sure, unless I, well, break the bank! Hahah.....

Do you have any interesting nostalgic possessions to share!?

Hong Kong 2010

Hubby and I visited Hong Kong in 1996, 2002 and 2004 on our own and with friends. Those were the carefree days when we could visit every nook and corner of Hong Kong streets, eat at dirty back alleys and party into the night. We visited Hong Kong again last month, with Chloe in tow. The departure was quite eventful (as Chloe had stomach flu the night before we were supposed to leave, so we delayed our trip by a day), but thankfully the journey was not, as Chloe managed to remain in her SQ seat, switching the inboard entertainment system non-stop.

I was prepared to take it slow this time - no chiong-ing, no dirty restaurants, and moderated shopping. We even chose to stay at Citadines service apartment at the quieter Ashley Road at Tsim Sha Tsui area, away from the lively Mong Kok stretch where we loved to hang out. The 32sqm studio was clean and comfortable, and most importantly it had a kitchenette for me to boil water, make milk and sterilize Chloe's bottles.

Citadines Hong Kong Ashley




Drinking yit-lai-cha (or hot milk tea) is Hong Kong culture to us, and definitely a compulsory beverage for us at every meal. I have yet to find comparable ones in terms of taste and smoothness in Singapore!

Yit-lai cha again, and again, and again.....

The infamous French Toast is something to die for in Hong Kong. I remember during my last trip, I savoured one at the end of almost every meal. I put on 3kg after that trip! What a killer! Those on a diet, DON'T even smell it - thick toast with generous spread of peanut butter in between, deep friend and served with a blob of butter and drizzle of maple syrup. I managed to exercise maximum self restraint this time. This was the only serving I had.

The to-die-for French Toast

The Highlight of the Trip - Disneyland!

We hesitated including Disneyland in the itinerary because Chloe had not been quite exposed to Disney characters, except for a handful like Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Winnie the Pooh and his gang. I wasn't sure if she would enjoy it.  Anyhow, as the entrance fee for adults was just HK$350 each, and Chloe tours free, we decided to go ahead. 

It was easy to travel to Disneyland on Lantau Island via the MTR. Unfortunately, describing the weather that day as very hot was an understatement. It was freaking scorching!!! Really, the heat sort of killed off the excitement for the park, as we all struggled to keep our eyes from squinting in the glare when posing for photos, and perspiration drenched through our clothing. Half the time I wished I was back in the apartment. 



Hot hot hot.....

Because of the heat, we covered under half the park, and focused on the activities Chloe could do. We took a ride in Winnie's hunny pot (it was too dark inside the conveyor belt ride to take good pictures on the move), but clearly, Chloe looked bored, and sometimes scared of the special light and sound effects. She did enjoy the carousel pony ride. Thank God for Daddy's company. I wouldn't have survived the revolutions - standing at close distance taking videos of the little girl going round and round already made me dizzy. I personally enjoyed the short adventure cartoon in 3D though. I think Chloe did too, as she could recount days later, how she felt gust of air blown on her face and water droplets sprinkling onto her during the show. 

Still, we pressed on, because Chloe wanted to take photos together with Mickey and Minnie Mouse. We spent many many minutes in the queues waiting for our turns. But it was all worth it seeing the smiles on the little girl's face....

Overall, it was a hot and sticky trip. We considered Hong Kong's un-pram-friendly roads and did not lug Chloe's pram along. We ended up having to take turns to carry the 14kg pack around, which allowed me to lose a bit of weight, despite the daily yit-lai-cha. We didn't manage to do much shopping, since the boutiques were beginning to carry fall/winter wear anyway. Chloe's best buy was the cute Minnie Mouse luggage purchased at Disneyland.....

 and I managed to bring home a lovely 'souvenir' ..... =)

 

It's Hard to Say Goodbye

I finally made the tough decision to leave my current workplace after 10 long years. Actually it did not feel that long because I had 2 good breaks (no-pay leave) along the way – once when we moved to Shanghai for 2 years from 2003 to 2005, and another 6-month break from work in 2007. It seems like just yesterday when I was a doe-eyed eager young officer joining a prestigious organisation, and full of hopes and dreams.

During my earlier years with the organisation, I was very proud to belong there. I loved my job, and felt good doing it. I suppose over time I lost some of the enthusiasm – having been tempted by the success stories of peers who left to join the industry, the opportunities for faster ‘upward mobility’, and the lure of higher compensation in the private sector. A combination of push and pull factors led me to pray for open doors, and to take the first step and send out my resume.

The job offer came before I was mentally prepared. But somehow I felt this one was God’s answer to my prayers as everything came about really smoothly. I took it up not being 100% sure of what the job was about or what was expected of me. I trust that if this was part of God’s plan, he will make it right for me.

However, it’s still hard to leave a place where I’d spent a quarter of my lifetime, not to mention the friendships and bonds I’d developed. Anyway, I’m telling myself to be courageous and look forward to life outside my comfort zone. Although I’m not in the least career minded, I do wish to have the opportunities to stretch myself further and discover my other potentials.

A photo of me at my desk taken 4 years ago.....

Sometimes when I stand across the street gazing up at my office tower, a surge of pride, and heart-melting emotions thinking what I am about to leave behind overwhelm me. I will step out of the building this coming Thursday one last time as an employee. I still don’t know what I’m feeling now – excited about new possibilities, or sad to say goodbye?

There will always be the fear of the unknown, and anxiety that I may not measure up to the new role. The only person I can rely on now is God, to give me wisdom as I embark on a new learning curve, and strength and courage to face a new world.

I Want my Old Life Back!

I have not blogged for about a month – blogging time is so hard to come by since the day my ex-maid Noneng left. Despite my occasional grouse about my forgetful and not-very-intelligent ex-maid, she was actually very good with Chloe. Chloe was also quite attached to her, which allowed me considerable pockets of time when I could leave the ex-maid to play with Chloe, while I relax with a face mask, do my pedicure, or blog.

Yatin has no prior experience with childcare, although she is excellent with housework and cooking. When she first came, she was quite clueless with how to bathe Chloe, make milk, and most importantly, play with her. We had to take some time to introduce to Yatin, Chloe’s like and dislikes, including her tantrums and what makes her tick etc. Although Chloe was cool about Auntie Noneng “going home to see her mommy”, and having a new Auntie around the house, she refused to be carried or even touched by Yatin. She would cry and start to get mang-zang when Yatin came near. So poor Mommy, often with the help of Daddy has to be the one to bathe her, change her dirty diapers, and brush her teeth. These are no easy chores when facing a 2-year-old who tries to be independent and wants to do things her own, and often wrong way. So many times I blew my top and started shouting matches with her, only to be scolded by my hubby and feel terrible afterwards for raising my voice at a mischievous child who just wanted to play.

She also could not be left alone with Yatin. That left me with NO personal time alone. To make things worse, Chloe came down with Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease for the second time about 2 weeks ago. I was pretty stressed up, having to take care of a sick child, and juggling my outstanding work whilst taking leave to be home with her since she wouldn’t do alone with the maid at home. As a result, I was very tired, and almost depressed.

I know Yatin is trying her best, and she has learnt quite quickly, from observing us, how to deal with Chloe. The funny thing we noticed is that Chloe would be fine with Yatin bathing or changing her in my mother’s presence. However, the moment my hubby and I came home, she would reject the maid again.

Anyway, it’s understandable that Chloe might take a while to warm-up to the maid. I just pray that the day will come sooner. While I know these are the basic responsibilities of a mother, I admit I’m not the most patient person on earth. I’m just hoping that when I’m all made-up and dressed for work, I do not have to get dirty again changing Chloe’s soiled diapers, and my maid can ‘cover my duty’ during such times, and cut me some slack.

I really want my old life back……

Analysing Gossipers

Matthew 12:36-37 (KJV)

36But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

37For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.

I had never looked up the definition of “gossips” until today. I used to think a gossip had to be something untrue about someone or something, but is highly sensational, until my trusty Oxford Dictionary points me to the element of “unkindness”. That means, even if there is some truth in the story but it is unkind to the victim, then it constitutes a gossip too.

I had been the target of gossips a few times during the quarter of my life time spent in this organization. The first time happened very shortly after I joined the workplace, and the experience was emotionally and psychologically damaging. I felt really hurt and foolish because I was totally unsuspecting of those people, who appeared nice to me on the surface but was only spreading malicious rumors behind my back. The last time happened only recently, although not as damaging, but got me thinking about the whole mystery of the formidable ‘underground’ communication network.

The perpetrators will just regard it as a grapevine. The victims will no doubt condemn it as an evil gossip mill. To date, I’m still very puzzled as to who are the “sources” or “some people” that originate the gossips, e.g. “I heard from my sources that ….”, “Some people told me that…..” Sometimes I wonder if the sources/some people are the very persons who passed that gossip to you. Since it’s a gossip, the recipient of the gossip may never be able to find anyone to question the veracity of the story, because the messenger could claim that he (will just use “he” for ease, gossipers are equally likely to be a “her”) heard second, third or xth hand and the source is thus lost. For this reason, additional details could be added in to augment the original gossip out of proportion. This is just how wild the whole thing could get! Furthermore, the amazingly respectable quality about the gossip mill is that the perpetrators, like the secret society, will never give away the identity of the source/some people!!! It’s a 江湖 thing!

Based on my observation of the perpetrators whom I have come across, I postulate the reasons why I think people might want to spread gossips:

• He is insecure about his friendships. There’s a possibility that he feels that he needs to ‘offer’ something of interest, so that his/her friends would see some benefits in continuing to be friends with him. Who doesn’t love a juicy gossip? Success will build upon itself. Over time, nosey people will look to him for the latest gossips, and this person may become really popular amongst friends of the ‘same kind’.
• He is jealous of the victim. The perpetrator could be jealous about something the victim has which he doesn’t – a chio-er girlfriend, a friendlier relationship with the boss, or a recent promotion. Jealousy can make a monster out of a person, so in order to make himself not look so bad, the perpetrator could spread unfounded comments about the victim, “I heard from my friend’s ex-girlfriend that this guy is a jerk!”, “His shoulders must be so bruised from rubbing those of the senior management’s. Many people think he’s a suck up!”, “He got promoted purely because he can wayang very well in front of the bosses. I’ve heard his own staff say he’s definitely not as deserving as [this other person]!”
• He is just plain nasty. Some people have nothing better to do and their hearts are evil. Gossiping is just another channel of entertainment and it’s quite fun to see other people’s reaction when they hear of sensational news. It’s even more fun to see how the message he originated got passed around and distorted along the way. The more warped, the more satisfaction he gets!
• He does not think there’s anything wrong with it, as long as he is not the originator of the gossip but is merely passing on what he heard to others innocently.

I confess that I might have been a gossiper myself in the past. We are all sinners and are imperfect, but I am increasingly conscious that I should try my best not to be involved. I have succeeded a few times in letting the gossip end with me. Of course the gossips could fall anywhere along the mild to malicious line. Whatever it is, I hope we will still attempt to spare a thought for the victim, and consider if the gossip will cause hurt to him/her or whether he would be upset if the gossip got around. Remember, you can't escape being the victim one day. 

Good-Bye Noneng!

Last Saturday, I sent home my first maid, Noneng, after she fulfilled her contract. I feel compelled to write about my experience with and feelings about her - one mixed with gratefulness and frustration.

Honestly, I read more horror than happy stories about maids. It could be because people generally share more about negative feelings than positive ones. I was naturally cautious about them, but since Noneng was highly recommended by my sister’s maid, as they are friends, I readily took her in without much consideration. At a pre-employment meeting with Noneng, I found her to be neat in appearance and earnest in attitude, although she spoke very little English.

Frustration started in the second month of employment. See, I had constantly reminded her to keep the laundry the moment the sky turns dark. However, she always went, “No lah, Madam, not raining yet”. One fine day, when I was home and she was carrying Chloe in her sarong, it rained. Seeing that it was unlikely she could put the baby down and bring in the clothes before they got drenched, I ran out to bring in the clothes while she stood there fixated. Another fine day, while she was working upstairs, it suddenly poured and she rushed out to the yard to keep the laundry. In her moment of clumsiness, she had a serious fall and hit the back of her head, resulting in a big baluku. Thank God she was not carrying my baby when she fell. I had to spend 3 hours at the A&E that night to have her examined. After that incident, I sort of lost my trust in her, labeled her in my heart as someone quite stubborn, and had to invest $2,000 in an awning for the yard.

What irked me too was her atrocious memory. I’m not sure if she is not very intelligent to start with, or that because of old age (she’s 2 years older than me), I can’t teach old dogs new tricks. After 2 years in my household, she could still forget to switch on the rice cooker, switch on milk bottle sterilizer, switch the tap (between the tap and the water filter), or turn off the electricity for the awning after every use. Once she even forgot to lock my main door after she left the house on her off-day (I went out before her). Whenever I remind her of such things, she would always reply with a giggle and slap her forehead loudly in demonstration of her great remorse, as if it helped.

A very common issue with maids is their defensiveness. Whenever I point out to Noneng that some parts of the house needs cleaning, she would say “But Noneng clean already!”, then quickly go and do it. Worse still, she would ask me, “Why (so dirty) ah?” Why??? That’s because you never clean properly lar! Still ask me why? [Blood boil].

Because I’m so afraid she would fall again, I seldom ask her to clean the windows, and never made her clean the ceiling fan. Because she’s too lazy to bring out the vacuum cleaner, I allowed her to use expensive Magic Clean floor-wipes to clean my 3-storey house.

A few occasions she broke my things, my treasured belongings. These days I buy cheap crockery and stash my beautiful bone china deep in the cupboard.

However, I do reckon that these are not serious mistakes. It beats having a maid that schemes against you, steals your money, brings home a man when you’re out, or drop rat poison in your soup. I have been very tolerant of Noneng, in a way, I was held ransom as she was the primary care-giver to Chloe when I’m not at home. I am so afraid if I ever scold her, she would take it out on Chloe. So during these 2 years with me, I only raised my voice at her 2 times – when she refused to keep the clothes before raining, resulting in me, the Ma'am being drenched, and another time when she sent my whole dish-rack full of plates onto the floor. The other times when I tak boleh tahan, I just implode.

Despite all these, I am very grateful to her for taking such good care of Chloe. Chloe loved her a lot, and there are times she looks for Noneng instead of me. My daughter is rather active and can be quite difficult to handle, and Noneng has always been patient with her. She fed and bathed my baby well. Alas, Chloe’s language skill has surpassed Noneng’s, who cannot carry a decent conversation in English. Half the time she does not understand my simple instructions, and three-quarters of the time I don’t understand what she’s trying to say to me. It’s good time that I send her home. In any case, she also asked to go home as her mother is getting old, and her son will be graduating from university this year.

So, good-bye, Noneng. Thanks for putting up with me. I had no experience with maids, but you stretched my patience, and teach me to close one eye. Thanks for taking good care of and loving Chloe like she’s your own baby. I wish you well!

Noneng cried very hard when leaving for the airport because she really missed Chloe.....

Happy Birthday, Chloe Darling!

Chloe turned two on 22 July 2010. From a few weeks ago, we started teaching her to say she is "2 years old" and hold up 2 fingers at the same time. The victory sign, I learnt, is not a hand-sign that comes naturally to toddlers. She's able to master it now with some practice.

Last year, we brought her to the zoo, and to our dismay, she was not interested in the animals at all. We figured out that she was probably too young to know what those creatures were. This year, we decided to revisit the zoo and observe the difference. At least now she's able to connect the pictures she sees in her books to the life animals, and to name a few too.

But what a wet day it was! Although Chloe was still nursing a running nose, we decided to go ahead with the outing for she had been looking forward to seeing giraffes and lions.

But the wet weather did not deter Chloe from enjoying the outing. She was pretty excited and was running about. Luckily I had the help of nai-nai to 'restrain' her.

It's really a blessing to have this little girl, who has brought so much joy and laughter to our lives, especially to her grandparents. Even before she turned 2, she could communicate properly to adults, speaking in full sentences. Her teachers at the childcare centre were amazed. She also has her mother's genes - being very comical and dramatic - often throwing in elaborated and funny gestures to spice up her speech. She would go: "Chloe is a drama queen". Indeed.

Chloe striking a funny pose....

A nice shot of Daddy and his darling girl....

This year, we could not celebrate Chloe's birthday together with Brother-in-Law, whose birthday also falls on the same day. So I ordered a small Barney cake to celebrate with my parents. These days she's so into Barney - just gotta have the purple dinosaur.

HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY MY DARLING CHLOE!!!