Matthew 12:36-37 (KJV)
36But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
37For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.
I had never looked up the definition of “gossips” until today. I used to think a gossip had to be something untrue about someone or something, but is highly sensational, until my trusty Oxford Dictionary points me to the element of “unkindness”. That means, even if there is some truth in the story but it is unkind to the victim, then it constitutes a gossip too.
I had been the target of gossips a few times during the quarter of my life time spent in this organization. The first time happened very shortly after I joined the workplace, and the experience was emotionally and psychologically damaging. I felt really hurt and foolish because I was totally unsuspecting of those people, who appeared nice to me on the surface but was only spreading malicious rumors behind my back. The last time happened only recently, although not as damaging, but got me thinking about the whole mystery of the formidable ‘underground’ communication network.
The perpetrators will just regard it as a grapevine. The victims will no doubt condemn it as an evil gossip mill. To date, I’m still very puzzled as to who are the “sources” or “some people” that originate the gossips, e.g. “I heard from my sources that ….”, “Some people told me that…..” Sometimes I wonder if the sources/some people are the very persons who passed that gossip to you. Since it’s a gossip, the recipient of the gossip may never be able to find anyone to question the veracity of the story, because the messenger could claim that he (will just use “he” for ease, gossipers are equally likely to be a “her”) heard second, third or xth hand and the source is thus lost. For this reason, additional details could be added in to augment the original gossip out of proportion. This is just how wild the whole thing could get! Furthermore, the amazingly respectable quality about the gossip mill is that the perpetrators, like the secret society, will never give away the identity of the source/some people!!! It’s a 江湖 thing!
Based on my observation of the perpetrators whom I have come across, I postulate the reasons why I think people might want to spread gossips:
- He is insecure about his friendships. There’s a possibility that he feels that he needs to ‘offer’ something of interest, so that his/her friends would see some benefits in continuing to be friends with him. Who doesn’t love a juicy gossip? Success will build upon itself. Over time, nosey people will look to him for the latest gossips, and this person may become really popular amongst friends of the ‘same kind’.
- He is jealous of the victim. The perpetrator could be jealous about something the victim has which he doesn’t – a chio-er girlfriend, a friendlier relationship with the boss, or a recent promotion. Jealousy can make a monster out of a person, so in order to make himself not look so bad, the perpetrator could spread unfounded comments about the victim, “I heard from my friend’s ex-girlfriend that this guy is a jerk!”, “His shoulders must be so bruised from rubbing those of the senior management’s. Many people think he’s a suck up!”, “He got promoted purely because he can wayang very well in front of the bosses. I’ve heard his own staff say he’s definitely not as deserving as [this other person]!”
- He is just plain nasty. Some people have nothing better to do and their hearts are evil. Gossiping is just another channel of entertainment and it’s quite fun to see other people’s reaction when they hear of sensational news. It’s even more fun to see how the message he originated got passed around and distorted along the way. The more warped, the more satisfaction he gets!
- He does not think there’s anything wrong with it, as long as he is not the originator of the gossip but is merely passing on what he heard to others innocently.
