Life as an Expectant Mother......

During those times when I could not think of being pregnant yet, I used to imagine what a joy it would be to experience the symptoms of carrying a baby, no matter how unpleasant they could be. I thought there would be joy in the "suffering". Alas, I can't say that now because I have been feeling rather awful!

The morning sickness and other symptoms came towards the end of 7 weeks. And I'm one of those special ones who get morning sickness all day long! I need the toilet in the middle of the night, and my fatigue is amazing. All I want to do every day is to fill my stomach and sleep. I say 'fill my stomach' and not 'eat' because I don't crave food at all, like some expectant mothers do. In fact, I have to force myself to eat just so I can ward off nausea that comes with hunger. I've in fact lost about 1 kg from before.

My beanie is 8 weeks along and the size of a grape now. I wish time will pass quickly as I should be ok after the first trimester. And I certainly hope it'll all be worth it when I finally meet baby. : )

My Bit Bit's Birthday - 16 December!

I meant to put this up some time ago but because I have been feeling so lethargic, nothing gets done. I hesitated with this entry because it will expose an almost embarrassing nature of me to the world. But heck, I love her too much to not to recognise her as an important part of me to be mentioned in my blog at all.

We celebrated my Bit Bit's birthday on 16 Dec 2007. I try to celebrate her birthdays by buying a small cake whenever I can. (She loves strawberry or cheese cakes.) Bit Bit is my 23 year-old "daughter". Ok, realistically, she's a stuff toy my mom got me when I was 11-years old. Girls stick to their favorite toys, you see. She's the person I know for the longest time on this planet (besides my family members lah), and I love her to bits. I play with her, talk with her, sleep with her (I still do now). I used to travel with her (we made it to Sydney, Paris, Barcelona, Shanghai etc.) until 911 when security got too tight. Once I brought her to Bintan and my bag, with her in it, was scanned in the machine for a long time because the security officer could not figure out what that object inside was. That was quite funny! I made all the clothes for her. She has quite a character and a life of her own, which I shall not elaborate, because many of you who don't understand girls' relationships with their toys may freak out. Heh heh.....

She may be tad dirty by now, but hey, that great "smell"! After her one and only bath when she was 4-years old, I didn't wash her anymore for fear that she will fall apart at the seams! I wish to preserve her for as long as I can. What's worrying me now is what I'm going to do with her when my baby arrives!

Bit Bit when she was about 15 in her red polka-dot dress.

Bit Bit in her yellow sundress, and chilling out with my iPod.

Miracle of Life

I have been really quiet for the past two weeks because my life is undergoing a major change. I needed time to recover from "shock" and to manage the anxiety somewhat. I found out 2 weeks ago that I'm pregnant! At first when a gestational sac, but not yet the fetus (it was 4 weeks at that time) showed up in my ultrasound scan, my gynae said I could either be pregnant or it could be an empty sac.

You can imagine how terribly anxious I was after that! I have been struggling with thyroid and hormonal imbalance problems for a number of years - such conditions are not pregnancy friendly. I began to imagine that so many things could go wrong and prayed very hard that it would not be an empty sac. As a matter of fact, a few of my friends had the misfortune of being pregnant with empty sacs and so the paranoid me felt the threat was very real.

A week later, I finally saw the tiny yolk sac (which means it is likely to be a viable pregnancy), but because it was so tiny, my gynae could not detect any heart pulsation from the ultrasound. It was only after another few days that we saw the little beanie's heart beating so hard to keep itself going. My gynae dramatically announced: "See this? (pointing to the pulsation on the screen.) This, is the beginning of a new life...." Only then did reality set in for me. It was quite unexpected, really!

I can't thank God enough for this gift of life. I'm praying hard that my health conditions will not affect this pregnancy. So far I'm feeling fine save the normal discomforts of bloatedness, morning sickness and lethargy, and I'm beginning to burst out of my jeans. What's tiring for me is the need to visit the clinic every other day for injections and every 4 days or so for blood tests. (Goodness, I'm drying up! Dracula won't find me delicious anymore.) But I guess this is for the good of my baby, so I'll happily bear with it. I'm also very thankful that I'm on no-pay leave now (what good timing!), so I can hit the bed to rest anytime I wish!

What a Celebration!

Today hubby and I celebrated our 8th Wedding Anniversary. As he had to attend the MCST meeting this evening, we chose to celebrate at lunch instead of dinner. I went to Raffles City (his current workplace) to meet him for lunch at the Italian Cafe, Menotti. Menotti serves wonderful set lunches at a very reasonable price. I brought my camera along in hope to take a picture for remembrance, but alas, the waiters could not even take a decent photograph! After 2 different waiters and 5 takes later, we decided it would be too embarrassing for the Cafe to ask a third waiter to try. Although we selected the flash-off mode, all it takes is for a steady hand to capture a decent photo. Even my 7 year-old nephew can do much better! Anyway I thought it would be funny to just post the (best taken) picture as it is......

Food at Menotti was great but the waiters' photography skills suck!

Fuming over Fumigation!

Photos taken from my master bedroom window.

[Uh.. the big and beautiful 3m deep diving pool belongs to the next estate, my miserable foot-washing pond (not pictured here) can't compare.]

I wonder if there is a major dengue fever scare. Someone came by to fumigate the area and gosh, look at how much gaseous pesticides was blown into the air! I am staying on the 5th floor of the apartment building and yet the fumes were that strong at my level. I had to rush to close the windows because the thick smoke was drifting into my apartment and the kerosene stench was so strong. I was afraid that if they didn't kill the mozzies, the might just kill someone! [Choke choke....] I've never seen them go so heavy on the operation before. Sigh... now I have to wash up all the exposed dishes and cups in my kitchen and hope that I don't have to redo the laundry handing at my balcony. : (

Naggy Me

I had a funny dream of my colleagues last night. One of the guys had funky wispy hair at the back, undercut at the side, a layered fringe all highlighted in mahogany red. He wore a diamante cross-earring (eeks!). When I told him politely that this look didn't quite suit him, he was adamant and thought that he looked very good! Another guy was wearing a casual beige polo shirt and khaki pants, slouching in his Herman Miller chair and munching on the Old Chang Kee curry puff I offered. Another sweet young girl came by. An iPod earphone dangled from her left shoulder and I asked her if earphone cords now double-up as bra-stripes! Ha ha ha.... I wanted to record this dream coz I thought it's quite funny. I must be missing my colleagues too much!

The dream continued.... then I heard shooting sounds coming out from the PCs and to my disgust, I realised a few of them were playing video games on their computers,competing with one another! I started to nag at them big time to make them stop, and wondered to myself what the team has become after I left! [End dream.....]

Well, that's the naggy me. I was the 'disciplinary master' of the team - always nagging about punctuality, filing work on the shared drive etc. [Perhaps they all secretly hated me for that! Ha ha!] My pet peeve is people not being punctual - for work, for meetings, for lunch appointments. I thought it's a very basic sense of responsibility not to cause any inconvenience to others who may be looking/waiting for you. I do forgive people who are late when something unforeseen crop up. What I cannot tahan is perpetual late-comers who make a conscious decision to be late!

I sadly remind myself that most organisations do not honour punctuality anymore. In this new world, as long as you deliver and finish your work, you are free to come in to the office later. The question is, when do we ever 'finish the work'? So that means no coming in late? For almost every year in primary and secondary school, I was the class monitor or school prefect. Perhaps it's because I grew up with strict "disciplinary training": ["Oi, you're late for school assembly. I'm going to record your name and class!" "Hey, no talking in class. I tell teacher!" "Pick up the rubbish!" "Tuck in your shirt properly!"] I mean, now I get irritated with inconsiderate people who lean on the pole in a crowded MRT (such that others have no place to hold on to), with drivers who park their cars too close to my parking lot, with friends who arrive late every week for church service......

Most of the time, these matters don't really affect me, so I'm just being very judgemental here and getting irritated for nothing. Well, I'm not the prefect of Singapore so maybe I should learn to relax and let things go a little. It's not possible to expect others to live out my (high) standards in this frustrating world......

Do you have a pet peeve? What irritates you most and how do you manage it? Do share your thoughts if you don't mind as I would love to hear about them!

Cosmetics and Heath?

Some of you know that I have hormonal imbalance problems for a number of years already (that explains why I'm so cranky at times.. hee hee). I found out I had hyperthyroidism in Dec 2004. I can't figure out if the thyroid problems cause my hormonal problems or the other way round - obviously not a medical-student here. Although my thyroid seems to be in remission at present, other female-related problems persist.

A nurse told me that I should not wear makeup, colour or rebond my hair because chemicals and chemical treatments affect one's hormone levels. Gasp! This advice disturbs me (or horrifies me, in fact) and so I launched into a small research project on the matter.

According to what I read on the internet, it has been a longstanding issue that the cosmetics industry has remained largely unregulated by FDAs around the world. Certain chemicals that made their way into the cosmetics are in fact harmful to health. Two such substances are:

Parabens - which include methyl-, propyl-, butyl-, ethyl-parabens, are very common in many cosmetics products. These are preservatives that inhibit bacteria growth and are used to extend the shelf life of products. Parabens affect or disrupt the endocrine system i.e. they primarily affect hormones such as thyroid, pituitary and adrenal glands etc. [Dear, dear me!]

Phthalates - are a group of chemicals used in products such as body lotions, soaps, shampoos, perfume, nail polish, hair sprays. Some health advocates argue that the use of these chemicals among woman of child-bearing age could lead to birth defects. (Men, you are not safe. Exposure to phthalates could cause sperm damage too...)

I shan't bore you with further chemistry details but they've got my attention there! Naturally for every concern posed by the health advocates, some one will present a counter-claim. Regardless, I investigated all the product labels I could find for my L'Occitane body lotion, Nivea lip balm, Clarins moisturizer, L'Oreal sunblock, Shu Uemura blusher etc. I also went to Watson's to check out the labels of common toiletries. Indeed, many products contain, especially, some form of parabens!

I suppose for decades, woman all over the globe have been using such products and are alive and well. But I begin to wonder if my hormonal problems have been exacerbated by the constant exposure to unsafe chemicals present in my beauty products. However, to ask me to stay away from skincare and makeup is completely out of the question!!! But for the sake of my health, I think I will try to switch to 'safer' products. [Important note: Please don't misunderstand me here. I'm not vain at all. Unfortunately I don't have porcelain skin, so stepping out of the house without foundation and some form of visible eyebrows is a major crime against people who have to see me!]

Over the course of my research, I discovered a cosmetics safety database on the web. You can type in a particular ingredient and it will tell you what harmful effects this ingredient could pose: http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/ingredient.php?ingred06=702620. So ladies, before you purchase that must-have new eye shadow, you may want to check this website out first to see if you are putting yourself at risk!

Eye-Yo-Yo......

This morning I woke up really early in order to catch a ride to SGH from hubby. My post-Lasik appointment with Dr Chan at SNEC was purposely scheduled at 8:30am so I can have breakfast with hubby at my favorite Killiney Kopitiam at Circular Road. Oh, how I miss the french toast, and the kopi is still the best I have tasted in Singapore. When I was working, we used to drive there for breakfast almost every morning. I love everything that is served there - fried carrot cake, curry puffs, zhu chang fen, nasi lemak.... all so yummy!

After the satisfying breakfast came the not so good news. Well, I've always suspected my Lasik was less than well-done because my vision is not totally sharp. During the previous two eye-examinations, one a week after the surgery and another a month after, I already complained to my doctor that my vision is not clear. However, I was told that I had already attained 6/6 vision, but my eyes needed a couple of months to 'stabilise'. Well, from today's examination, it seems I still have 25 degrees remaining in my left eye and 75 degrees in the right. :`(

My doc said it's not uncommon to have some degrees left over after Lasik surgery, especially when I had corrected a fair bit of myopia - almost 700 degrees - to begin with. I was secretly blaming myself for squinting over story books in the first week after my surgery. See, my vision was definitely distorted right after the surgery and I couldn't see anything properly beyond 2 metres. TV was out for me, and because I was so bored, the only thing I could do was to read a book held to my face. However, doc said that it could not have been me who caused my vision to weaken so quickly (barely 3 months since my Lasik), and assured me that such things "happen".

So I'm supposed to go back for another examination 2 months later. If my vision is still blur and unacceptable, I will have to go for an enhancement surgery. I think I definitely want to do so, since I've already spent $5k on the Lasik procedure - die-die must ensure perfect eyesight! To think that I have to go through the whole affair again.... well, I'm not afraid of the surgery, but I'm more worried about not being allowed eye-creams and makeup a week after that! Horrors!

Anyway, I think it's unlikely my eyesight would restore itself to perfection miraculously by January. The enhancement surgery seems inevitable. For those of you out there who are considering Lasik, please don't let my bad news stop you. To not have to wear glasses again will be one of the best things in your life. I just happen to fall into the small percentage of patients who have left-over degrees. Don't be discouraged! You could have better luck than me!

From Chicken to Chatting

I met a friend for tea the day after my first driving lesson last week. I remembered when she asked me how my lesson went, I was still 'trembling with exhaustion'. So exaggerated right....but yes, that was really how I felt physically and mentally! I mean, I was not very enthusiastic about driving to start with, and so I was super kan-chiong on my first lesson. I made it a point to declare to my instructor up-front that I'm a slow learner with lousy psycho motor skills, poor speed and distance judgement and no courage on the roads!

And boy, was I an absolute chicken even while driving in the driving circuit. I had to manage the panic when the roaring machine went above 30km/hr and was gripping the steering wheel so tightly (to the amusement of my instructor). To make things worse, I could not 'find' the brake pedal! So many times we had to bow to the traffic lights because of my hard braking. One has to get so restless - look into the rear mirror every now and then (no, no time to check my make-up at all), peer at blind spots left and right, look out for learner motor bikers, this and that.... I went to bed really early that night from sheer exhaustion!

I was afraid of driving because of 2 key incidences which happened more than 10 years ago when I was a learner driver. A 10-ft lorry bumped into my rear when I was moving off at a traffic light. No major damage to my instructor's car and they merely exchanged some verbal unpleasantries. And while switching lane, I nearly bumped into an old man on a scooter with a little girl riding behind. Luckily my instructor braked for me in time and no one got hurt. These were not major incidences, really, but somehow I lost my confidence in controlling a moving machine, and that slowly culminated in my phobia for driving altogether.

Anyway, I prayed hard on my way to my second lesson last Friday, as I was determined to break the bondage of my past fears. Thank God I quickly understood how I was supposed to position my foot properly to reach both the accelerator and brake pedals (that fully resolved panic-factor number 1). I also exercised my usual charming conversational skill to chit-chat with my instructor. By the end of the lesson I pretty much learned about his age, a little about his family, and even where he'll be this week whilst on his vacation. (Hee hee......) This helped me relax more during the lesson. I took the roads yesterday on my third lesson. A young 24 year old relief instructor brought me to Sengkang to learn U-turns, left and right turns on actual roads. He's studying Accountancy full time at SIM, had worked temp at the Subordinates Courts before, drives a 2003 Honda Civic bought for him by his dad, will be going on a cruise soon with his friends, and was refused by his doctor to do Lasik... (Hee hee hee, am I good (at talking) or what? I just knew him!)

So I'm really beginning to enjoy driving. Am thankful that the instructors from Comfort Driving Centre are so patient, friendly and encouraging. (The relief instructor said these qualities justify the exorbitant fees.) I do look forward to lessons now. But of course the real test comes later when I have to drive in a massive messy traffic jam. Well, guess I'll take it one step at a time. : )

A Wasted Trip and a Bus Ride

Made a wasted trip to Comfort Driving Centre (CDC) this morning, tsk! When I enrolled myself as a student of the driving centre two months ago, I was given a slip of paper that says "Photo-Taking and Collection of Photo Card", and was told to get my photo card done before my first theory or practical lesson. I only remembered about this yesterday, and I will be having my first practical lesson tomorrow!

So I booked a taxi to take me to Ubi. (In this secluded dead-end corner of the world where I live, I don't normally get taxis simply by stretching out my hand. The only way is to contribute an extra $2.50 AND pray for a driver who knows how to check the street directory to get to Eden Grove.) A chatty and jovial taxi driver came. He quickly took the liberty to start a conversation (given that I'm headed to the driving centre) on driving, and went on and on about the "ethics" of driving. He insisted that, being an 'elder' to me, he has the responsibility to impart the golden rule of driving to me (drum-roll....) "holding one's temper on the roads". [Uncle, thank you very much.]

Actually he's correct, but not complete. What I find most annoying is that there are so many horrible drivers on the roads! These people shouldn't drive (or breathe)! Even as a passenger, I sometimes run the risk of tearing out the side of my leather seat, or experiencing the fall of my heart 2 inches into my ribs because of bad experiences on the roads. The ones I cannot tahan most are:

Type A : Drivers with cars that do not come with signal levers, usually makes of 2000cc and above and/or SUVs, MPVs and/or cars bearing such brands as Mercedes, BMW, Porsche etc.

Type B: Drivers who are unaware that their cars cannot out-run others, and yet refuse to give way and move off to a lane more fitting of the maximum speed of their cars when floored, such as Getz, QQ, Perodua or other brands I don't normally take notice of.

Type C: Kayu drivers who are oblivious to the hazard they are posing by looking left and right at their, maybe missed turning, while driving in the middle of 2 lanes at 30km/h, and making no notice even after you send them 2 flashes of "hello please wake up high-beams" from behind.

Which type are you?? The Type As make me very nervous on the road as they can suddenly swerve in front of you even when you are travelling at high speed, without pre-signaling, of course. It absolutely irritates me! Because I have a metal cross hanging just below my rear mirror, I have to refrain myself from any 'elevated emotions', but just try to breathe normally through flared nostrils. According to the taxi uncle, people are leading stressful lives now, their minds are on other things, they are always in a hurry, finding opportunities to cut time in everything etc. Yup, so maybe cutting themselves discourteously in front of others can indeed save them valuable time indeed. Unfortunately, I have to overcome this fear of meeting such drivers on the roads if I were to drive.

Anyway, back to the CDC, lo and behold! The wonderful card printing machine at CDC was not working, so no photo card for me. The best part was that the CDC staff told me actually the photo card is not necessary - I will be able to book lessons or identify myself as a CDC student with my lesson booklet! Super TSK right??

After this waste-my-time trip, I carried out my plan for an adventure of "bus-taking". I had done research on what bus to take from which bus stop before hand. So this morning I took the longest bus ride I've taken in Singapore in 5 years... all the way from Ubi Ave 4 to Bishan! Hee heee..... See, the spoilt-brat me usually only go where MRT can take me, or driven by my loyal chauffeur-hubby, or by taxis. (Confession: I think taking buses are a wee-bit too unglam for me. Sorry, I so atas!) Hey, major achievement ok!!

Pineapple Up-Side Down Cake

Thursdays are good baking days, coz my hubby hosts his cell group meetings at our home. I can have a bunch a guys to eat up whatever I bake (provided the end-result is edible lah). See, I can't possibly finish up whatever I bake by myself in a few days, while they're fresh.

This is by far the most complicated cake I've baked! Have to melt butter and brown sugar, arrange the pineapple slices, beat the separated egg yolks with lemon rind, beat the egg whites separately, fold in this and that, blar blar. But I must say the cake mixture turned up very nice and spongy. However, maybe because I have used rather expensive large cholesterol-free eggs, the cake tastes very very 'eggy'. I thought the recipe calls for too much brown sugar because it's a tad too sweet. Will improvise the next time round. Oh dear, not sure if the guys will like it that sweet. But anyway, these good guys will never complain. It's the fellowship they share after the meeting that's the best supper for the day. : )

Do Something Useful!

A deafening thunder startled me! I thought it must be someone 'upstairs' warning me to stop playing the silly computer game and do something more worthwhile. Uh, no, it's not one of those PS3 kind of games, but a very primitive tetris where you stack three or more of the falling bricks to clear the tiles etc. I'm absolutely addicted to it! I have always loved super tetris (actually I used to be quite good at it) as it gives you a sense of satisfaction breaking your own hi-score over and over again. Hee hee... so bo liao right?


My plan made this morning is to finish studying the book of James - as the DVD by Pastor Rick Warren which discusses the book has been lying on my TV console for a week. And then I shall continue to read Mark's Gospel and try to go through the guidebook which KY lent me by this week. Thanks gal, it's good! : )





I had been quiet for sometime coz I was eager to finish a book ("The Mists of Avalon" by Marion Zimmer Bradley). It's 876 pages and 4.5cm thick, and by far the longest novel I've read! It's a legend of King Arthur told through the eyes of his 'sorceress' sister, who was a priestess that worshiped the pagan Goddess before the gospel came to their land, and through Arthur's queen, a Christian, who struggled to turn the king's court to Christianity and later struggled with her own faith. The story is beautifully written and very magical, but the language is so tough it's not a book which is that easy to read as Harry Potter! Anyway I'm glad I can finally emerge from the 'mists' - very satisfying reading indeed! Now can move on to my other 20 books waiting for me on the shelf...... Oops, can anyone see my Advanced Theory of Driving book in the background? *Grumble*. My test date is booked for November but I have not started revision yet. Am not very enthusiastic about driving because I do have a real fear of it. Will write about it next time after my first practical lesson, end of the month.

Bangkok Holiday Good and Bad

Just came back last night from a short holiday with hubby in Bangkok. It's not that interesting to visit Bangkok anymore because we've been there umpteen times. Well, actually we just wanted to redeem our Kris miles as they expire at quite an alarming rate of hundreds-of-points every month. As there's no where else on earth we would like to visit at this time (plus hubby's busy with work, can't get away for too long), Bangkok seems a cheap choice. So off we went on Raffles Class (yes, nice to have someone to lay the table for your meals and greet you by your last name!) for a rare experience.

It's even nicer to have free 2-nights stay at The Ascott Bangkok Sathorn, courtesy of hubby's employer, which dishes out free nights stay in apartments under the Ascott Group within a fixed budget per year as part of their staff benefits. He's quite blessed indeed to be working for, in my opinion, the best property developer in Singapore. Wish my employer would do they same. Oh, I think my organisation will try to provide better staff benefits in months to come to arrest the high turnover rate (or boost our happiness-index). Already upon my return from Bangkok I received a letter in the mail regarding the recent salary adjustment exercise. Praise God, it's a good start! : )

Travelling has become quite unpleasant post 911. I recall in the past, they used to fuss about whether or not we carry sharp objects on board (oh no, where am I going to put my eyebrow tweezers now!), and for a while serve us meals with flimsy plastic cutlery?? Now it's the liquids and its getting ever more inconvenient. I mean, I can't bring more than 100ml of my shampoo and favorite shower gel when I travel? Am I expected to buy these toiletries at my destination? I had to pack my bottles in a miserable small plastic zip-log (one per passenger only, mind you), which was bursting at the seams with my stuff - facial cleanser, toner, serum, moisturizer, shampoo, conditioner, shower gel, body lotion, perfume - nothing that's not necessary! And so without exceptions, every luggage had to be ransacked at security checkpoint, and this was not even done in courteous fashion. Sigh! Yes, I appreciate the need to do this, and I can't help but feel annoyed.

Anyway, the best thing that happened this trip was to have found a good tailor for my hubby's work-shirts and I wish to recommend it to anyone looking for a tailor. We chanced upon Baron's Fashions (105-107 Sukhumvit Road) and hubby made 8 shirts. They are reasonably priced: Baht850 for 100% cotton, Baht700 for other fabrics, service was good too. The shirts turned up in excellent workmanship, and were delivered to our apartment in 24 hours (ahead of estimated time)! I guess I was extremely pleased and relieved because we had a horrible experience with a tailor during our last trip. Not only did the dishonest tailor not deliver our garments on time, they delivered part of the orders minutes before we got on the plane, and the remaining came via DHL after 2 weeks after some chasing. On top of that, I got cheated of US$300 for 2 badly cut suits which I threw away, in tears, once I came home. So if any of you guys want a good tailor, go to Baron's! If you have other good tailors in Bangkok to recommend, please share them on my blog!

Coconut Macaroons

I tried making Coconut Macaroons this afternoon. The day after I bought the new recipe book from Borders, I headed straight to the supermarket to gather the ingredients. This was even before I stopped work 2 weeks ago! I had wanted to 'conquer' the recipe book cover-to-cover, and strive to achieve the same output as those photographed in the book. Coconut Macaroons appear to be the easiest to make, as the ingredient as simple - condense milk, dessicated coconut, a little flour - and I don't even need to set up my cake-mixer.

I immediately regretted coz it's so messy to work the recipe. As I was scooping the mixture onto the baking tray, dessicated coconut scattered all over the place! And I got cheated by the instructions. It says I should leave them in the 180 degree C oven for 20 mins, but 10 minutes into the oven, and my macaroons were about to chow-da! Plus, there is nothing macaroonish about my Coconut Macaroons. They taste crispy and dry, like those coconut biscuits we buy from JB whenever we cross the border.

Mission failed - not nice!!! :`(

Menu for Today...but...What are they Eating?

Since I'm lazing at home while hubby is busy at work, I've got to be the dutiful wife and cook a warm dinner for him when he returns right? A friend suggested I prepare a scrumptious lobster meal for hubby, but sorry lah, I only know how to cook simple zhe-cha dishes, with little fussy-garnishes, so that everything on the plates can be licked clean.

Unfortunately, half a packet of the caixin I bought on Saturday has turned yellow (aiyoh, my fridge must be too cold/dry). As I was plucking away the withered leaves, I suddenly thought of what I read on a World Vision webpage. There are many people starving around the world, and a pot of withered vegetables would no doubt make the most nutritious meal in years and years. No, I'm not normally a philanthropist and have taken little interest in the past in uncontrolled population growth, diseases, starving and dying children etc. But I came across an article in the Oct 2007 issue of Her World magazine titled "The Border Between Hope & Despair" which featured the harsh lives of people in very poor and remote villages, and how World Vision helped to lift the villagers out of poverty through child-sponsorship programs or setting up micro-enterprises to make a living.

Out of interest I checked out the website. My attention was immediately drawn to the picture of a small skeletal boy with the caption 'To keep me and my siblings alive, this is what my parents feed us...'. I clicked on the link to find out more and was startled by what I saw :- rotten cassava cooked with dead rats, in a filthy battered pot! [I can't produce the photo here, check out this link for a look: http://www.worldvision.org.sg/st_emergency.php] My heart immediately went out to those who have to live without proper food! Anyway, the website got my interest and I read on about child-sponsorship. For a mere $45 a month, the sponsored child and his/her family could receive food and water, healthcare and sanitation, education and income generation participation etc.

In fact for the last 2 days I had been thinking about this on and off. It's after all a long-drawn 'relationship' with the child because sponsorship usually lasts between 10 -15 years. Would I be able to sustain this commitment? In future, should I decide to be a stay-home mom, would I have the money to continue with the sponsorship, or be bothered with other people's children if I have my own?? On balance, $45 a month is a well affordable sum for me, so money should not be a problem. What's holding me back is the long-term commitment and accountability for the well-being of the child through the sponsorship. I just shared the website with my hubby and while he was quick to agree to sponsorship, we both decided to mull over the idea for a while lest we make a hasty decision. It's for a good cause, certainly, as quoted in the website, "Luke 9:48 Whoever welcomes this little child in my name, welcomes me"......

What's For Dinner!

I've meant to cook a proper meal for days! The meat and the vegetables have been in the fridge for almost a week and I'm just too lazy to cook. Anyway, I promised my hubby to prepare some homecooked food today coz it's been quite long since he ate my cooking. He always enjoys simple homecooked food, but since we returned to Singapore from Shanghai, I hardly mess-up my kitchen. You know, I'm quite ngeow when it comes to cleanliness; I can't bear to see my kitchen in any state different from a show-room.

Anyway, grouses aside, I did enjoy preparing the meal. Just a simple one - my hubby's favourite herbal chicken soup, dou-miao with XO sauce and needle mushrooms in oyster sauce, and that is sufficient to make my hungry hubby grateful! : )

Moist Chocolate Cupcakes!

Finally gathered my lazy bones to do something today other than read and watch DVD. Actually I've completed Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in four days, and have started my Korean drama (Wedding) DVD marathon since two days ago. Problem is, on Tuesday, I watched 5 episodes in one sitting and after that migraine hit real badly. I think it was due to 5 straight hours of staring at the TV screen so the eyes couldn't take it. So in the last 24-hours, I've had 2 sets of synflex+cafergot and a nice pair of extra-strong panadol to tail the pain off, plus plastered my temples all over with my trusty tiger balm ointment.

Thought today's cool wet weather would be an opportune time to work in front of the oven. I made Moist Chocolate Cupcakes - a new recipe I've never tried. Unfortunately, it was still hot in my tiny kitchen, and I feared I had killed a whole lot of facial cells when I opened the oven to remove the chocolate babies. But gasp...aren't they beautiful?! You've got to smell them!

Uh.. ok, actually they aren't beautiful. Think it's becoz I used chopped almonds instead of ground almonds, thus giving them the orange-peel face. They should look more 'glam' if I slather on some icing cream on them, but don't think I'll do that this time. Testing only mah. But I learnt that baking anything with molten chocolate is such a kungfu business! Have to melt the chopped chocolate over simmering pan of water blar blar.... so troublesome! My kitchen's really tiny and I don't have much workspace, so next time I'll go for one-bowl cakes as far as possible.

Hmmm..... I regret to inform you that you won't have a chance to sample them this time. They're really quite nice; crunchy and chocolatey. Worth all the perspiration! I shall offer them to my hubby's cell members when they meet at my home tonight. Lucky guys!

First Reunion

It was raining this morning when I opened my eyes around 7am. No it wasn't voluntary - the alarm clock beeped at 7am for my hubby and subconsciously I held it near his ear to wake him. Because the beep was quite gentle, it did not work, so I have to wake him 'manually' instead. I thanked God that I did not have to get up this early and snuggled further under the quilt.

I arranged to meet my colleagues for lunch today, and at the same time collect the dry-cleaning which I had dropped off last week at the dry-cleaner's near the office. Not the whole team turned up, but nonetheless the 3 of us had a good time catching-up. I promised next time when I visit, I will have some self-bake treats for them. : )

Then I headed to Raffles City to shop around. I do realise that I don't need that many new clothes since I'm not working now. Naturally, why the need for another pair or pumps or another stick of lipstick? I'm supposed to be frugal during this period! Anyway, I went to Cedele to have a cuppa and a little indulgence in something sweet.

I used to be extremely conscious of myself when I was alone. As in, I would imagine that people might look at me and think how pathetic I am to have to eat all alone, like I'm super unpopular or have no friends etc. (Also, in my younger days, I drew a bit more attention because I was quite pretty lah. Or had it just been my imagination!? Ha ha!) But now I'm ok, because I go everywhere with a book. In fact I enjoy having a meal by myself and read while finishing up my coffee. Besides, nowadays hardly any man look at me, no more sweet-young-thing, sigh! Anyway, would be interesting to hear how my friends feel about eating alone.....

The Day Has Arrived!

Oops, I said I'll wake up at 10am today but I slept till 1130am. Big regret... coz I'm feeling a bit groggy and heavy-headed now from too much sleep. Well, since it's my first free-day, I shall not impose too many rules, i.e. if I don't feel like unpacking the 3 huge-paper-bag-fulls of personal possessions brought back from my office, so be it. They are currently left on the floor of my study room being stumbled upon here and there but I'm just too lazy to tidy up the place. I shall read today, nap a bit, watch TV, eat ice-cream, and read some more!

Yesterday I was dizzy with 'celebrations' of my last day at work. My boss and teammates bought me lunch at the Teahouse at China Square and I couldn't help but feel so enveloped by love. You know, I have often heard about how challenging it is to have true friends at the workplace but by the grace of God, I have found myself surrounded by many people who care for me and whom I can call bosom friends. These are the beautiful people who will be forever etched in my memory......

Back: Marcus, George, Spencer, Boss, Keng Heng

Front: Lynn, Sheryl, Me, Stella, Ros

Stella has lent me her copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (yup, I haven't bought the book yet coz I wanted to wait for the release of the softcover copy to complete my collection) since I couldn't wait any longer to read the story. This will keep me occupied for the next few days. Tonight, I shall be watching the movie preview of 'Balls of Fury' - a good friend has got me and hubby tickets. I checked out the movie trailer and thought it would be a hilarious / slap-stick movie and I don't mind that at all! What a happy way to start my break! : )

What, No More Holidays?

Many people asked if I will be taking a holiday to kick-start my break. Oh, how I wish to, but unfortunately traveling is not in my plan. Hubby and I just visited Italy at end-June and I've used up my holidy budget for this year.

Our Italy holiday was almost perfect, if not for the hot weather. Because of work commitments, I could only take leave at end-June. Ma-ma mia! Rome was scorching hot and Venice got quite sticky in summer, but we still enjoyed ourselves! Venice became my 3rd favourite city (I've visited) in the world, after Paris and Barcelona.

Would like to share some of my favourite photos from the trip. Hope they will inspire you to visit Italy soon!

Now, What Should I Do Next?

I’m drawing very close to my last day of work. This last week has been quite relaxing for me – my boss has since a few weeks ago stopped giving me new work assignments, and I was left to finish up whatever work on hand in peace. Last Friday I did nothing more than to clear up my desk and shred 2-angsana-tree worth of old personal work papers. Shredding paper is a noisy ritual that people leaving their jobs do. As my mind drifted away in the rumblings of the machine, it hit me that the reality of an idle life is just less than 5 days away!

What should I be doing immediately on 19 Sep 2007 (the first non-working day), in the first week, month and after that? Are there any specific things I want to accomplish within the 6 months? I recalled when I first went on no-pay leave in 2003, I was overcome with sadness of having to leave my family, friends and work behind, that I had a hard time adjusting to a totally different life (I even got into mild depression for a while). This time round, I told myself I should not repeat the same mistake. I will try to cherish the free time on hand and do the things I’d always wanted to do, but never found enough time to do in the past, such as:

#1 Spending more time with God – Honestly, I have not been reading my bible for sometime. I wake up at 630am every morning to prepare for work, and I can’t make myself wake up any earlier to do ‘quiet time’. I’m one who needs to sleep a lot, you see. And by the time I come home every night after work and dinner, it’s like 9pm or 10pm. If I were to pick up the bible, I am likely to just fall straight into slumber. So many times I pass out even before I complete the Lord’s Prayer (Very sorry God)!

#2 Reading – I love to read! Am interested in all sorts of books, novels, sci-fiction, fantasy, biographies, and Christian books. I am always tempted to buy books whenever I visit bookstores, but I can’t seem to find enough time to read them. I am concurrently reading these books now: The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley), Good Morning Holy Spirit (Benny Hinn), Your Best Life Now (Joel Osteen) and The Purpose Driven Life (Rick Warren). I have a whole shelf of books (about 15) yet to be read and I can’t wait to finish them all!

#3 Taking up driving lessons – I’m quite embarrassed to admit that I still don’t have a driving license at this ripe old age. After 2 attempts some 10 years ago, I developed a phobia for traffic and have refused to take up lessons since. However, everyone’s telling me how stupid I am not to drive when we have a car. Whenever my hubby goes overseas, my car is left in the car park and I have to take public transport (and I don’t really enjoy doing that). Since I will have so much time going forward, I should take up driving lessons. Actually, I am somewhat motivated to drive our BMW 323i, coz according to my hubby, it’s a nice car to handle. I love cars too.

#4 Taking up baking lessons – The thought of signing up for a commercial baking course crossed my mind much earlier, but later on it got watered down to just taking up occasional baking classes for items which I would like to bake. It’s too troublesome to do a lengthy course, because, not to forget, I will have to take public transport to these baking schools, which are usually located in rather inaccessible places. Actually I do know how to bake basic cakes and muffins, but I want to learn more varieties and pick up cake decoration skills.

#5 Exercising – It’s such a big thing for me! Because of my not-so-good health condition, I avoided strenuous exercises. My stamina just got worse and worse over time, and my waistline got thicker and thicker (Huh? Waist, what’s a waist?). I am also quite lazy lar, coz if I have some time to spare, I would rather huddle in a couch to read, than to sweat it out right? I’m a super in-door person. But it’s time I do something to shed those pounds before it’s too late….

Seriously, I think as long as I accomplish Objective #1, I would have no regrets, but this one requires the most discipline, in my opinion. I hope I’ll be able to stay committed to the above. Well, guess I’ll find out soon enough if these plans will materialise!

A Tribute to my Shanghai Tai-Tai Friends

As I’m entering tai-tai-dom again, albeit temporarily, I must write about my best experience being one some 4 years ago. Most of my friends know that I was staying in Shanghai between Feb 2003 and Feb 2005 when my hubby got a job at Capitaland China. At that time, while I was excited about being an expat in blooming Shanghai, I was very sad to leave my organisation, especially when the reality of having to leave home came quite suddenly. I loved my job and my organisation, and loved them even more when management granted me a two-year no-pay leave. That meant I could come back to the embrace of the organisation after my tai-tai stint.

It was cold and lonely in Shanghai when we first arrived. After a few days of settling in, hubby had to go to work, leaving me alone in our service apartment. I didn’t have any kids to occupy me, so I woke up at noon most of the days, and my pastime was reading through a mug of coffee at the Starbucks downstairs, everyday without fail.

Overtime, I got to know the wives of my hubby’s colleagues (who stayed in the same service apartment block) and through them, other tai-tai friends. Whoa! Mind you, these ladies are not naggy housewives who like to talk to vegetables. They all used to hold great jobs in Singapore but quit to support their husbands’ careers (so self-sacrificing!). And they certainly are not bimbos who only know how to visit salons, do manicure, shop and have tea (of course we did all these too lar), gossip and bitch. They are knowledgeable, strong in character, well read and well traveled ladies, and they know more about 3G phones, msn chats and blogs before I did!

Being the youngest amongst them, they took very good care of me: chio me out for lunches and massages, gave me tips about where to find the best deal for anything, did marketing for me (coz I was not familiar with the chinese vegetables and didn't know which ones were edible), cooked for me and hubby when I was sick, comforted me when I found out I got hyperthyroidism etc. We became a close-knitted group and looked out for one another. Being in their company was the best ever thing that happened to me in Shanghai. Just thinking about them spreads warmth through my heart. Sigh, most good things come to an end, when one-by-one we either returned to Singapore at the end of our hubby’s postings, or got transferred to Beijing. But we make it a point to gather in Singapore at least once a year during the summer breaks. Last year the tai-tais came to my new home. This year we gathered at Jessie’s new home. Here are the pictures of the gathering of the extraordinary ladies!

July 2006 Gathering

July 2007 Gathering

A New Chapter

This is called jumping on the bandwagon - so many people are 'on blog' nowadays! I thought it is a good idea to start one too, to keep my friends updated on what I'm up to, and I do hope I can hear from them occasionally. Very soon, I'll be on 'retreating' at home but I certainly don't wish to lose touch with my colleagues, friends, and human beings in general.

So here's presenting "Straight from J's Heart"... Is the name too cliché huh? Actually I chose this name for my blog for two reasons. Firstly, I had been secretly fantasizing about setting up an on-line baking business, and I had intended "straight from J's heart" to be the label of my products. I love baking, and every creation would naturally be made with love, straight from my heart! (Will write more about this next time.) Secondly, well that's what a blog is meant to be, right? Penning down our personal experiences and thoughts, and putting our hearts into it? No?

I said earlier I’d soon be retreating... Yes! I'll be on a long six-month leave from work to do anything else but work. Was kinda too shy to tell people about my leave, coz it's not like I'll be emerging from my break with a new diploma, or likely to brandish a research paper. I'm just going to be a tai-tai during that period. This decision came on impulse, well, sort of. I thought I needed a break from the work routine, which was beginning to bore and frustrate me. One day, when I was whining in the car on the way home, hubby said, "Why stress yourself dear? If you xian about work then don’t work loh. You stress me when you are stressed too!" At that moment, a light bulb popped above my head - That's a good idea I thought, worth exploring. I did the sums and was quick to arrive at the conclusion that my annual salary is not even near my hubby's annual bonus. Why am I working until so cham for?? So, we discussed and I made the decision to live on his dough for a couple of months.

So I'm opening up another new chapter of my life. Contrary to 'popular believe', my hubby and I are not loaded. It's quite tough for a household with single income to manage the expenses - mortgage, car instalments, parents' allowances, bills, holidays, and we haven't even got kids yet! I can't afford to be a tai-tai perpetually. But since I'm blessed with the 6-month free period, I might as well make good use of it. At the minimal, now, I have established my personal blog!

Don't ask me yet about my plans for the 6 months, and especially what will happen at the end of it. Besides a rough list of things I really wish to do, I have not spent more time thinking about it. I'll have lotsa time to do that later. We'll, if you are interested to know what I'm up to do, tune in to my blog occasionally! : )